CATBEAR?!

aaaaarrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
It's a cat! With shark teeth! Or maybe it's a bear?

Eye know you got a bad tattoo

This gem was sent to me by a reader. Thanks! I love the "painterly" style.




If anyone knows what's going on here, please let me know!





And this one... yeesh! It has everything! Spraypaint, tears, a rose, eyes... I wonder what the sad story behind it is.

More amazing back pieces

What happened to this angel's feet? Don't they look just like stumps? Also why is one angel stomping the other one's head? I think I see some horns on the bottom angel there, so maybe it's Lucifer being shown what's up.
Let me show you a wonderful trio of ridiculous back tattoos:


Now I know that this photo was taken mid-scabby-stage so I won't be *too* harsh about the quality of the tattooing here, because it's really hard to tell. HOWEVER, it's impossible to tell what's going on! I do see some flaming dice, and a '3', but what are the weird globby things on each shoulder? They look like rotting lettuce.


Okay, now this one just confuses me. I am under the assumption that it's not finished. The triangle thing on the left is one of the worst tattoos I've seen, but seems like a pretty explainable bad tattoo to get. The Japanese guy on the right is not actually that bad, and obviously isn't done yet. What REALLY baffles me though, is what is on the bottom. It looks like a scratched on sunbathing girl at the beach! IT CAN'T BE SO! sdlkfjslfjs! Amazing.

Hugs

... I really have no words. This guy got a disembodied arm tattooed on him. Amazing.

The Crow

I haven't gotten a tattoo in a year, and have been feeling the itch. I have an appointment for this upcoming Wednesday. I decided to get two big crows with lightning bolts, they'll probably on my ribs, unless I wuss out. It's kind of a memorial tattoo for my dad, but not totally. Anyway, I'll post pictures and you guys can feel free to make fun of them as much as you want. In anticipation of my appointment, I decided to do some looking around for terrible crow tattoos. I found a lot.

Full disclosure: I was really into The Crow when I was a teenager. Here's a photo of me being totally awesome when I was 13 or 14.

I don't have any ridiculous makeup on in that photo, but I definitely went to school made-up like the crow. The movie was filmed in my hometown (Wilmington, NC) and I went on a pilgrimage to see where Brandon Lee died. I listened to the soundtrack to the movie every day. I still really enjoy the movie. Regardless of my history with the movie, my crow tattoo idea has nothing to do with the movie The Crow. These people's tattoos do. There are so many sweet crow images out there, I don't know why they picked these out....

So here you go. Awful crow tattoos!


I think this crow is supposed to be on fire? It just looks blobby to me.


This is supposed to be the Crow logo, but it's not executed well...


This one too. Plus! Bonus barbed wire armband! I love seeing terrible versions of the same thing. (See my zombie jesus and wizard posts for more)


Crow mask + tribal + cross = goldmine!


Scarred Kanji + flaming crow = bigger goldmine!



I don't understand the spacing and sizing on this. It looks like the tattoos just got slapped on completely randomly. Also the little spritzes of red and yellow are a real nice touch. What is the black blob on the left? Can anyone tell?


skldfskdjf Brandon Lee does not look like that!


And he really, really does not look like this!!!

I hope you enjoyed this confessional edition of awful tattoos. Check back next week to make fun of my crow tattoo!

Bad straightedge tattoos volume one: text

I have a confession to make. I secretly love bad straightedge tattoos (maybe because I am straightedge? probably because they are just goofy). I actually secretly love all bad tattoos, that's why I do this blog. But I have a special soft spot in my heart for three x's that are stick-and-poked into someone's ankle. Many people get them, many people regret them later, but they are still awesome. These abominations, however, are not so awesome. Behold: the bad straightedge tattoos, volume one.


Bad font, bad linework, bad coloring, bad placement, just a generally bad idea.


Ditto! Only worse.


Why did he decide to put the text in a pool of water? I don't understand!


And finally- starship troopers straight edge dude. I have to admit this is actually pretty awesome, because I too love science fiction and not drinking. I hope this guy had a sense of humor about what he was doing, because that instantly turns this questionable tattoo into a hilarious and rad one.

If you have any regrettable edge tattoos (or any other kind of regrettable tattoo, for that matter) feel free to email me: alice@vivalavinyl.org.

Star Wars II

I got this email from a reader in my inbox this morning. Thank you so much! This chewie is amazing!
this is my friend's arm, proudly displaying chewbacca over an Irish
flag... this tattoo came to him in a dream.


It prompted me to do another search for bad Star Wars tattoos so that I could fill out a post. I already had this one saved. It's an internet classic and one of my favorite awful tattoos:


I found a couple other wonky chewies:

The color shading in this one is pretty funny:


And finally: one of the worst tattoos posted on this blog to date. It's Jabba with slave Leia, in case you can't tell! Her hair is coming out of her face, her six pack is atrocious, her arms and hands look just like her braid of hair, her nose looks alien, and she has the weirdest shoulder I have ever seen. Jabba actually looks pretty decent, but then there's the weird leafy neon background behind them.

Alien Invasion

Alien tattoos are pretty much always a little cheesy, but these ones are next level:







And finally, an internet classic:

Oh, The Horror!

Horror tattoos, in one form or another...

First, the amazing back pieces:





And second, the bad guys.

The shine on this one makes it hard to see, but to me it looks like a big blob of cow manure with teeth and horns attached to it.


Look at the shading in the hat. It's sooo scratched and uneven. And the skin is supposed to look messed up, but not like there are a million triangles glued to his face.

Amazing Back Pieces

I have a confession to make. The more I do research for this blog, the more I am falling in love with terrible biker metal tattoos. I want a million of them. Every time I see a huge back piece with demons or dragons on it I get jealous.

I like to think that this guy started with the demon tramp stamp at the bottom and then worked his way up. My favorite part is the skeletons. They're super sweet.


This lady has pretty much every tattoo cliche imaginable, all in one spot! The squishy-headed crosseyed wizard is my favorite part. You can see he's trying to figure out how he got lumped in with all the other random tattoos and isn't too happy about it.


I should start a zombiejesus category. I am pretty sure I can find a bunch more where this one came from. He really wants brains. Braaaaains.


And, for the grand finale. Words cannot express my sorrow for this dude.

Fantasy Back Pieces

This is perhaps the best post so far. I bring you a collection of amazing fantasy back pieces.

Here is a dragon, with what looks like a weird bloody/flaming tail tip, some huge balls, and strange blobs flying around him:


Okay, so this isn't strictly fantasy, but the winged horses make it fit into this category enough. There are also a bunch of angels, some weird tribal stuff, some praying hands, and a bad portrait way at the bottom. My favorite is the angel to the left with the ribs sticking out and the very awkward boobs.


Back to straight fantasy. This dude has some cool multicolored clouds, a skull moon, some kind of beast on a cliff, and I think there is a spiraling tower castle in there too, but I am not sure.


This guy has a moon and a cliff and a castle too. And a Pegasus and a dragon. What I don't understand is if you're going to get a straight-up fantasy piece, why go with an Asian dragon and not the Euro fantasy dragon?


And of course I saved the best for last. Again, there is a skull moon, and a cliff, and a castle (actually a couple), and some kind of horse (unicorn not Pegasus this time) but this guy has planets too! Planets in tattoo form are A++. He also has what looks like a wizard but he's cut off at the top of the photo and you can't see anything but a tip of beard. I wish we could see the whole thing.

Guitar Heroes

If I have to see another badly done flaming guitar tattoo in my google searches, I will shoot myself. I could have posted a billion of them, but I decided to give you guys the most creatively awful guitar tattoos instead.

Here is a skeleton playing guitar. I like the infected face, X's over the nipples, and dreadlocks.


This one isn't executed so badly. The idea could even have worked if the guy had decided on either tribal or "classic", but the font and the guitar and the tribal bits just don't work together at all.


Okay I really can't tell you why I am so annoyed about this Celtic knot guitar tattoo, but I am. Can someone back me up and agree that it's bad? It's not tattooed badly, and I guess the idea isn't even all that terrible either, it just bugs me for some reason.


Here is a NSFW guitar tattoo that almost falls into the so-terrible-and-metal-it-rules category:
click here to see the NSFW guitar

This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the blank space around the signature that just makes the whole thing look messy and unfinished.


And finally, here's another amazing back piece for you guys. It comes with an explanation from the owner (all misspellings theirs):
"Tatoo includes rainbow with seasons, angel with cheerleading megaphone, guitar with wings, hard to tell with picture but also has seashells, sandles, celtc cross, trumpet with halo, birthday cake with lit candles, snow flakes, fireworks, and thanksgiving scene plus other seasons!"