Minnesota (n)Ice

I slipped on ice outside my house this morning while talking to Albie on the phone.
I didn't break my face, but my elbow has been aching all day.
Serves me right, I got a letter in the mail a few days ago from the "Sidewalk Inspector" (no joke) saying someone ratted me out, and would I please use some sand on the hazardous conditions that threatened people on my property.
Minnesota winters are a hazard, buddy.


It did get into the above freezing temperatures today, and there was a great melting that happened.
But now it's back down to 15 degrees, and everything that previously melted is just thicker ice.

I think Chris is with me on wanting an immediate Spring in Minneapolis.
But he's real concerned about the ice melting too much in the Arctic.
This was his second tattoo, one sitting, maybe 3 hours?




The quick sketch I did for the tattoo:

Blood, Sex and Ink !!

Immortal Tattoos, Singapore will be on a "BLOOD, SEX and INK" Tour to Melbourne, Australia

Make your bookings now as I have only limited myself to tattooing only 4 person a day over the course of first 18-20 days from -

22nd March 2009 - 10th April 2009 (Melbourne)


Email me Now !! - Immortal_Tattoos@mail.com

More amazing wizards (dragon edition)

I'm seriously obsessed with wizard tattoos. Sorry if you guys are getting sick of them! Here are a bunch with their dragon buddies.


It looks like he's about to pitch all the magic onto his hand that's holding the orb, whereupon it will smash into one million pieces and doom the dragon to an eternity underground without his friends or family.


This dude is NOT HAPPY about the dragon's fiery flames. Not one bit.


Since when are wizards 100x bigger than dragons? I like the lightning bolts though.


"Alright, I want a dungeon. A deep, dark, scary dungeon, with a DRAGON and a huge SPIDER, and a lizard, and cobwebs, and an EVIL PLOTTING WIZARD with another dragon on his shoulder, and a CUTE BLUEBIRD and a HEART with a banner with my girlfriend's name on it and a bunch of FLAMES on the other side and some smoke all around everything. Okay?"

Recharged and Ready

The last two weeks at Identity Tattoo have been pretty crazy.
Mostly I've been doing the paycheck pieces, back-to-back and all day long.
People are getting their taxes back, and handing them right over to me.
I overbooked, underestimated, and overdosed.
Too much Dr Pepper (what?! I know!) and Indian take-out.
I didn't take one picture last week.

But this weekend was a break from all of that.
Meryl and I did Seward Cafe Sunday and then some MANtiquing down in Northfield, MN
I woke up this morning and, get this, took a jog around Powderhorn park with Shamira.
And I didn't even die.
I only had two cans of soda today.

This week promises a way more appealing schedule, with some of those slightly disturbing, wonderfully absurd animal creatures I've really been getting into lately.
A polar bear, a cow, an owl.
There should be a flood of blog posts after that dry spell.
(even Todd has been typing up a storm.)




Casey, Kyle and I have been attending our Naked Mondays faithfully.
Last week was kind of a disaster.
Hopefully, we won't see that model again for a while.
Like ever.
But this week we had someone who was good at sitting still, and the two and a half hours flew by.
This pose was 30 minutes, pencil and white pencil on brown canson paper.

Also, if you're in the state of Minnesota, or plan on visiting soon, I would be at Identity Tattoo for this upcoming Friday the 13th.

Personal Message From Mario: 02/16/09

Be Mine

I'm not too stuck in middle ground, ever.
Hyperbole and I are very well acquainted.
I love a lot of things, and pretty much hate the rest.
Valentine's Day?
I love AND hate it.

We kicked the day off at Identity Tattoo with some Heartless Bastards, because it was so fitting.
And because they rock.

I did 9 tattoos today. I easily drank at least that many Dr Peppers.
I also used two different stations.
I had Kyle helping a little with some of the tearing down and setting up, and Todd had the day off, so we played musical chairs for a group of lonely hearted girls in order to squeeze them in.
Turns out, only two of the three were single, the other's boyfriend was ice fishing instead of spending time with his ladyfriend.
He may be single by now.

The Current (an npr music station out here) did the top ever love songs till midnight, and then once the clock struck 12, it went into the best break up songs ever.

I ate too much Ethiopian food tonight, Meryl's been in Chicago all week, it's 2:38 am and only 10 degrees out.
I'm happily exhausted, I think.
My weekend just began.

The Devil's Dozen

Friday the 13th, two months in a row?

Todd Lambright showed up this morning to Identity Tattoo carrying a bag full of mirrors, a black umbrella, a ladder, and a few shakers of salt.
We're hoping the bad luck carries us all the way till next month.
Or at least through Valentine's Day.
And since it was also a Friday, "not casual" was in effect as well.



We've had a busy morning smashing mirrors and tattooing.
I'm in between appointments right now, but after all that testing of fate, I'd be amazed if this next one shows up.
But if she does, we'll hand her the hammer and a mirror, and let her thumb her nose at Fortuna.
*edit- she did show up, and with a posse!*

Matt had an almost completed sleeve that we fit this murderous penguin tattoo into the last empty space.
Which happened to be the underarm/armpit area.
I battled my way through some hidden stretchmarks and Matt delt with some serious limb numbness.
But we survived and have this insanely poor quality picture as proof.
After he heals it up, we'll do the background and fit it into the rest of the sleeve.



My sister-in-law Casey came in late in the evening for a session on her backpiece we finished 4 years ago.
Just a little reworking, as I've gotten slightly better since the Cromwell studio days.
She smashed the last mirror, then we closed up the shop and headed home.

A pretty great day, for sure.
There may be an event for next months Friday the 13th.
I'll keep you posted.

I have a busy day lined up for tomorrow, but if you're around, stop in and say hello.
We'll be playing the Mountain Goat's "No Children" on repeat till Ben sheds some tears.

Personal Message from Mario

Miss Victoria, aka the Roman Struggler, has some tiny arms but big ideas.
Here's a portrait of Mr Abraham Lincoln from the five dollar bill.
Which, when the artist was doing the original art for the bill, he left out all the ugly.
Have you seen a close up of Lincoln?
Frightening.



After Lincoln I did a couple more tattoos.

Then Chef Ryan came in and got this kinda anti-pin-up thing.
An east coast tattoo artist is putting together an art book of 100 pin ups, and I was asked to contribute one.
I'm sure it'll have plenty of the expected.
But a bi-species hottie?
Probably not what they were looking for.



I didn't really have time to do anything other than tattoo today.
I stayed pretty late to finish the antlered girl in one shot.
But that's fine.
A full day tattooing people that bring awesome stories and ideas is a great way to spend a Wednesday. Especially with Indian food take out.

My Friend Zak (when bad tattoos come full circle and become awesome, part II)

My friend Zak is quite possibly the coolest dude ever. He has great taste in music. He's super nice and friendly. He has a black belt in karate. He likes space and d&d and being awesome. And he is willing to share his ridiculous stick-n-poke tattoos with us.

In the same vein as this dude, Zak and his friends like to get tipsy and tattoo each other. And ridiculousness ensues.

I'm going to post his tattoos in installments, because they are just that amazing, so here is the first, of many.



Here's the story behind it, if I'm remembering correctly... he decided to get a wolf tattoo, because wolves are RAD (p.s. I have a bunch of amazing tribal wolf tattoos to share with you guys). However, no one could tattoo a wolf, so he just went with the word "WOLF!". Then, apparently, there's a Chinese saying "horse, horse, tiger, bear" which brings good luck, I think? So he went with writing those next to "WOLF!" to round out the tattoo. But the words kept getting progressively crappier as he went on, so you can barely read the last one.

This might be one of the worst tattoos I have ever seen, but it is also one of the best.

If you have a silly stick-n-poke tattoo, or have a friend who does, by all means EMAIL ME!

Wrapping up the weekend.

Another Naked Monday.
Casey and I show up early to park ourselves in front of whoever is going to be fully undressed and pose in uncomfortable ways for two and a half hours.
This woman sat so unbelievably still.



Most of the day leading up to the drawing session was devoted to mail art.
And getting dope art in the mail.
Did you see these block prints Albie Rock did recently?
Well, I now have one of each begging to be framed and hung up in my new art room.
So hot.
Thanks dude!

Art Ruins Everything

Days have been flying by.
I think I'm still on Ohio time.

Thanks to Mandi for modeling the Antlered Birdhouse shirt.
There are still some left if you want one.
A Valentine's gift for your sweetheart?
Better hurry up and email me.
(And I'm meaning to have the guys shirts knocked out this week.)




We got lots of dope mail today.
Postcards from Brazil and NYC, and a package of stickers.
1000 stickers can't be wrong- Dead Birds Are Sexy!
As always, all stickers are free. Just email me with your address, or stop by Identity Tattoo, and I'll give you a bunch.

I also got to work on Chef Jeff again today for the first time in a while.
He's working on a water themed sleeve, but had a nasty case of tribal armband in the way.
Yeah.
So we worked on it for a few hours this afternoon, and although we didn't finish the eel, it's a pretty fun work-in-progress that I thought I would show. We still have a lot of texture to do, and the eye and mouth.
And don't worry-
Those few little bits of tribal outside the eel will be easily covered by water.



My weekend began a few hours ago.
Back to back plans will make for a chaotic two days "off".
Next week is a full moon, a well dressed Friday the 13th, and Valentine's Day.

And for all the Midwest appreciators of Albie Rock's blog, the man behind the barbarian babble and daily doses of dopeness is planning another trip to Minneapolis.
He didn't receive the heartiest of welcomes last time, so if you want in on whatever adventure will be happening this time, let either or both of us know.
Right now it's being billed as the opposite of a vacation, a brutal art sweatshop of self-ploitaion, during which an entirely new foundation of collaboration will be erected.
If you have a letterpress; embossing, bookbinding or embroidery skills; a bag of skulls; secret maps or vegan spells: Get at us.
There might be some tattooing involved.
More info on all of that soon.

Wizards with triangle things on their hats

You guys probably know by now how much I love bad tattoos that are all from the same book/ piece of flash/ google search. I especially feel this way about wizard tattoos. I collect photos of wizard tattoos and then try to match them up. It's amazing how many are alike! This is the largest collection of matching wizards I have so far. Enjoy.

This one has a sketch next to it, but it can't be the original.


I love how they are all the same, but have their own little personalities...


... like "mild" written over the nipple, for example.






And finally one in color! I can't decide if the color makes this bad tattoo more or less awesome. There's something about the classic black and white wizard that I really love, but I think anything magical really deserves to be in color.


I'm sure there are many more wizards-with-triangle-things-on-their-hats out there, I just have to find them. If you know of anyone with one of these, or know where they might come from, please let me know!

Bikes (part 2)

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????????????



There are so many better things you could put on your chest! Symmetrical, flattering, awesome things! Why why why why why why would you put a line drawing of a BIKE on your BOOBS? It makes her left boob look 10x bigger and droopier than the right because the left wheel is so much bigger.

sdjkskjfhsdfjs

At least it's well done. And I hope it's just the first outline and that she went and got it colored in later. And maybe put some stuff behind it to even the whole thing out.

p.s. my friend has a blog about funny emails he gets at work, if you're bored you should check it out.

The Crow

I haven't gotten a tattoo in a year, and have been feeling the itch. I have an appointment for this upcoming Wednesday. I decided to get two big crows with lightning bolts, they'll probably on my ribs, unless I wuss out. It's kind of a memorial tattoo for my dad, but not totally. Anyway, I'll post pictures and you guys can feel free to make fun of them as much as you want. In anticipation of my appointment, I decided to do some looking around for terrible crow tattoos. I found a lot.

Full disclosure: I was really into The Crow when I was a teenager. Here's a photo of me being totally awesome when I was 13 or 14.

I don't have any ridiculous makeup on in that photo, but I definitely went to school made-up like the crow. The movie was filmed in my hometown (Wilmington, NC) and I went on a pilgrimage to see where Brandon Lee died. I listened to the soundtrack to the movie every day. I still really enjoy the movie. Regardless of my history with the movie, my crow tattoo idea has nothing to do with the movie The Crow. These people's tattoos do. There are so many sweet crow images out there, I don't know why they picked these out....

So here you go. Awful crow tattoos!


I think this crow is supposed to be on fire? It just looks blobby to me.


This is supposed to be the Crow logo, but it's not executed well...


This one too. Plus! Bonus barbed wire armband! I love seeing terrible versions of the same thing. (See my zombie jesus and wizard posts for more)


Crow mask + tribal + cross = goldmine!


Scarred Kanji + flaming crow = bigger goldmine!



I don't understand the spacing and sizing on this. It looks like the tattoos just got slapped on completely randomly. Also the little spritzes of red and yellow are a real nice touch. What is the black blob on the left? Can anyone tell?


skldfskdjf Brandon Lee does not look like that!


And he really, really does not look like this!!!

I hope you enjoyed this confessional edition of awful tattoos. Check back next week to make fun of my crow tattoo!

Geek Tattoos

Just popping in to give you guys some links:

wired.com did a cool slideshow of geek tattoos. I submitted my d20 tattoo, so feel free to vote for it (or not) in the user submitted section. There are some pretty great tattoos by readers there, you should definitely check it out.

There is also a flickr group for geek tattoos. Again, some rad (and weird and bad) stuff in there.

Again feel free to email me if you have anything you want to share.

1700 miles and 4 days later.

Damn.
I left Thursday for Ohio and arrived home Sunday night.
That's a 29 hour round trip road-trip.

Not much sleeping happened, but I did do some tattooing.
Thanks to JR, Mandi, Dustin, FX Tattoos and the entire Ashtabula posse for the warm welcome, the never ending supply of Dr Pepper, the paintings, flash, the ball busting and the fun.



Tanner said he was up for anything.
Jeremy answered the call for an animal with "Buffalo!", so that's what we did.



Dustin had wanted this 'Ode to Being 15' covered up with a big crow.
I sketched on his arm for a little while, ran through a few ideas, and we settled on this.
He said it was his longest tattoo sit ever.
It was certainly the most amount of ink caps he's ever seen used.
I even made him come in early to get it done.
Cockcrow in Ohio.





Here's Mr. JR Tubbs under his trophy from the once finished, now in limbo dreaded Antler Crutch War of 2008ish.
He's building an army out there, smoking cigarettes and armed with watercolors and dremel tools.
Right on.
(except for the smoking)



It's good to change up the scenery every so often.
Go to a different state, time zone and climate.
A different way of doing things, talking with clients, drawing, and doing art.
29 hours on the road is a lot of time to think.


It'll be a busy week.
The dudes shirts are being made.
More stickers.
Tattoos, mail art, painting, sending out the orders for the girls shirts and more.
And very little driving.

Mario Barth and Usher - "Doing it Big!"

After a few hectic days of partying and tattooing Usher invited us over to the studio to chill and for Mario to do some more work on him.. It was nice to get away from the shop and Casino for a day, but as far as chilling - well lets just say that didn't last long...

Breakfast at the studio

Mario Barth tattoos Usher

Mario Barth, Usher and Jermaine Dupri

Party moves to the club!

It's about to go down

Mario Barth and Jermaine Dupri

It's going down!

Good Times

Cheers

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